International women's day should have been a holiday for all the women. But the word 'international' has retained only as much significance as the international conferences where you call just one speaker from either Bangladesh or Nepal and give world's best award paper, best thesis award, best teacher and many other 'best' awards to whoever fancies to register.

However today was a holiday because we voted on the last leg of assembly election in Uttar Pradesh. The name should have been 'Prashna Pradesh' since I still have as many questions about it as i had when i came here about 13 years ago.

So on international women's day, it is relevant to talk about Uttar Pradesh too because when it comes to women's rights we lag behind by miles. Here women too seem to be responsible for it as much as we like to blame men. I hear stories from women in early forties (that is my age too and i am still struggling with my son's homework !) who have already achieved the highest goal of acquiring daughters in law, about how they cannot have detergent allergies on hands because they simply dont have to do anything at home. Moreover, when their bodies ache due to laziness, their bahus give a massage to fill them with some more laziness.

The topic of men of this region is beyond the scope of this post. Just imagine pan stains. It might give you some picture.

My intention is not to malign my present state's name, but it is just my observation.

But women's issues transcend all the barriers, whether age related, regional or religious.

When a child is born, God knows how much drama happens in our households about the gender of the baby. Rather it happens even before the woman gets pregnant. People flock astrologers to ask if they are lucky enough to have a heir to their family. They behave as though they are some kings of Moghul empire and the future of whole 'Bharatavarsha' is at stake. I have heard recently that the sex of the child is determined by merely a virus. So much for pleasing starts and planets!

When i was a child, i never faced anything remotely to make me feel that i was different. My mother never asked me to learn cooking. She would say 'it is no big deal. You will learn it once you start cooking'. Since i was good at studies, i always felt special. I was this extremely clumsy nerdish girl who was lazy to do any domestic work. My father had more confidence in me than i had in myself.

Only thing i cringed about was my periods because i became untouchable if i was at home during 'mahine ke woh din'. But since i had left home in 8th std itself due to lack of high school in the village, i always planned my home visit as per my 'woh panch din'. I still plan my life around these days and if there was a pause button like youtube videos, i would have hit the 'meno-pause' button long time ago.

It is foolish to assume that the problems are solved once you become a 'clean' woman because whenever you throw a tantrum which you have been doing from time immemorial, your menopause has to take the blame for your crankiness.

On this day i would like to express my desire to meet a man who cooks three times daily, makes children study, manages maids and grocery issues and worries about children's future ( worrying is also a part of this job profile, you see ) after showing his excellence in his career.

We women are precisely looked down upon for this issue because we are not successful professionals. Moreover we don't know what is the torque of Hayabusa. What a shame! Though we know many other things which men have no idea about, we are convinced that ours is some inferior sort of information.

What takes the cake is the way women are projected in our films. The tiny clothes, wine glass, a cigarette in hand and thick mascara eyes are shown as quintessential part of being a woman. How many of us, who have successful careers and a balanced family life relate to such depiction?

Yes. On women's day or any normal day, i have a lot of bitterness in my mind. I dont get to do even one fourth of what i want to do. I have never faced any gender discrimination by my parents or in laws or husband. I have had a very privileged life. But i feel that i am at a great disadvangeous position just because i am a woman.

Did i run away from my situation? No. Do i perform all my duties well ?Yes. Ok. Then that is the essence of being a woman.

And, finally, if there was a thing like changing gender at our will, would i like to be a man? Not at all. Because I truly believe that women are superior beings.

Work hard ladies. Ignore hurdles and be bold in your decisions. It may take you towards your happiness.