COVID CORRELATIONS

As we are grappling with the changes caused by the new normal, I am watching a kaleidoscopic view of people’s behavior from my ‘narrow mind’.

People are behaving differently to the situation like a litmus paper changing hues depending upon whether they are feeling acerbic or caustic. If you are wondering how I remembered the litmus paper after celebrating silver jubilee of formal annulment my relationship with the subject called chemistry, let me tell you that I have re-established my camaraderie even with my estranged friends like physics, mathematics and social studies. Ask me the direction of magnetic field if the current is moving in a certain direction, how the French revolution brought about revolution in Europe and thereby other countries or how the resources are classified. But, this is just the beginning. I have this whole academic year ahead and I don’t know where and how I could fill all the contents of 10th standard curriculum in my mind which is only interested in knowing what kind of luxuries celebrities have in their houses, who is dating whose ex girlfriend or how does Aishwarya Rai wipe her running nose.

The memories of these topics are so remote that when I read these, I wonder if it was in this life or the last one I read them. Only litmus test for the doubt is that I am a non believer of re-birth.

Nowadays people are drinking too much of giloy ka kadha and have grown so confident that I had a first-hand experience of it recently. My husband sprained his back and the pain was so severe that I had to go to a medical store to buy a muscle relaxant for him. Like any posh educated lady I put on a mask, a pair of glasses and carried a hand sanitizer and stood one meter behind the man who was buying some medicine. Within a minute three people got into the gap between us like filling a gap in a rangoli with colours. I told them that I had come earlier and they agreed to stand behind me and pushed me forward. Luckily the person in front of me has not filed a lawsuit against me for touching him inappropriately. The people behind me stuck to me like M seal making it almost watertight. They kept shouting while making sure that they removed their masks whenever they did, so that others could see their beautiful noses and mouths and all the subtle expressions which is most important during these testing times.

Meanwhile there are cases of covid being reported from our neighborhood too. Nowadays I seem to show almost all symptoms of covid. Moreover I feel irritated by the amount of work I have to do everyday due to the absence of my maid whom I have mentioned disparagingly in each of my earlier posts.

A few days ago, a woman went overboard with cleaning of her face with dettol and consulted me via telemedicine. I gave her the prescription in which I wrote ‘contact irritant dermatitis’ as my impression. Promptly, she asked me ‘should I contact an irritant dermatologist?’ since she didn’t understand that the ‘impression’ meant diagnosis. Thinking about my recent state of mind I told her ‘no, you don’t have to consult any other irritant dermatologist. I am sufficiently irritant.'

It is not just me.

Even a layman has learnt the meanings of words like quarantine, pandemic, covidiots, corona warriors, flattening the curve, hydroxychlroquine and sadly a word called nepotism.

People have decided never to buy Chinese goods and are sitting scratching their heads while surfing through phones and laptops made in China.

All 10th and 12th standard results are out making all of us, the oldies, hang our heads in shame thinking about the marks we got compared to the present day toppers.

Vikas Dubey was given fast justice reducing the work load of judges who applied stringent rules regarding Covid precautions in the courts while allowing governments to force doctors to work in most hazardous conditions.

Baba Ramdev showed his yogic prowess by putting his foot in his mouth by announcing that his preparation coronil cured 100% of the patients.

People are baking as if their lives depended on it. I never liked cakes (except the Christmas cake baked in a particular bakery in Karkala) and had never attempted baking. I must admire the all pervading effect of corona virus. It made possible all the things which I thought were impossible - stopping people from visiting malls, making people think if they should reduce the frequency of hitting doctors (because doctors could be potential covid carriers), bringing the world into stand still and making me bake a cake!

There is only one thing I am not sure now at the moment, whom to vote next time. Looking at handsome Sachin Pilot, I am praying God that he joins BJP so that a hardcore BJP person like me may not do a blasphemous act of voting for congress.